I got a C in creative writing in college. I had always considered myself a good writer and had received commendations to the same, so that C knocked me out. Granted, I was a freshman in college and did not apply myself to the class, so I probably got what I deserved, but since then I quit trying to write stories. I have permanent writer's block. I can't even start one, and when I do it sounds so dumb to me I think, "Forget it." I know that being able to write fiction is different from being able to write non-fiction, but I'd like to think I could tell my kid a good story once in awhile.
I always thought I'd be a good conductor, too. I got a B in conducting and was basically told not to pursue a choir director job due to lack of experience. I would have liked to have done that, but I have no confidence left.
Isn't it sad how people, without necessarily meaning to, can so shape our self image so that we won't even try to succeed? Words are damaging, (grades too, sometime). I know that feedback is important, so maybe it's just my sensitive nature ruining my own creativity. That bites.
Oh, man, I'm afraid to fail. That's it. Man!
One of the papers I wrote for my creative writing class was about the split ends of the girl in front of me. Now, how is that not good material???
3 comments:
Scars?
Or scabs??
Don't be hiding behind previous criticism, lady. You know what you have to do!
I have writer's block fairly often, too. I'd love to write fiction, but like you said, it's hard to get started! I'll pray for you to be inspired and you can pray for me! :-)
I remember getting more than 10 positive comments/feedback about something a few years back and just 1 negative one. But the one I remember the most, that I recall more vividly and poignantly is the negative one. It's a shame I let that impact me so much and believe in it more than I do the positive reinforcements, which are by far the majority.
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