I like this term. I use it sometimes, and Christine used it in a comment on my "Special Occasions for Birthmothers" post. (By the way, I decided that Birthmother's Day should not be in October. It should not exist at all. A mother is a mother.)
Anyway, first mother. I am Mommy. I dry the tears, clean the bottom, administer the teething tablets, etc. And Kelly conceived this miracle, went through the morning sickness, nurtured him in her womb, painstakingly chose adoption for him. She loved him in her womb as she loves him now. She was his first mother. Is his first mother.
One time I asked a birthmom how she felt about the word "birthmom." I agree that it has its issues, and she definitely thought so. She also said that it was hard to come up with a different word. Nothing is sufficient to describe her or any other first mom.
While I'm at it, and I think I've said this on here before, a woman is an "expectant mother" until she signs termination of parental rights (TPR) papers. She is not a birthmom, she is a mom. Mommy. She is the only mommy that child knows. He knows her voice, her habits, her heartbeat. She's not a birthmom.
Also, I'm not sure about when people say "Our birthmom." Kelly isn't my birthmom, she isn't Randy's birthmom. She is our baby's birthmom. Any thoughts on this one?
That's it. I'm hungry. Love.