Friday, April 29, 2011

Gracie the Wundercat

Get this. I've just been interviewed for a cat magazine about the life of Gracie the Wundercat!

If you remember, one fine winter day in 2010 my little guys and I were frolicking in the back yard after a long winter's nap when we heard a pitiful mew coming from the back of our fence. With a neighbor's help, we rescued a fluffy grey kitten from the fence, got her to the vet, and eventually had to have her right front paw amputated at the shoulder.

We named her Gracie. Partly because it seemed like a funny name for a three-legged cat. But also, because to me she is a reminder of God's grace to us when he finds us dirty and broken from our sin, rescues us, and adopts us as His children, His gift to His son Jesus Christ! By grace we are saved, through faith, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Look at her now! She is beautiful, isn't she? She may or may not remember her feral past like I do. (Mine, that is.) She still makes messy mistakes that are hard for us to clean up, although we always do. We love her and care for her because she is ours.

Are you His?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Adopt and you probably still won't get pregnant!

Infertility myth: Adopt and you'll get pregnant.

How many times have you heard someone say, "My friend's cousin's sister-in-law and her husband tried for years to get pregnant. They finally adopted a son, then a daughter. They never did conceive. Isn't that amazing?"

You say you’ve never heard that story? Why not? Because it's totally non-sensationalistic. It makes sense. A couple cannot conceive, so they decide to adopt. Some families with biological children do continue to grow by adoption, but other times a couple does not consider adoption until spending some time and effort conceiving children to no avail. That is how it was for us.

After three years of infertility my husband and I began the adoption process. We decided that we were more interested in being parents than we were in parenting a jointly conceived child. Four months after adopting our amazing son BB, I took a pregnancy test in a Bank of America bathroom and discovered that after four years of infertility, I was pregnant.

Soon the comments began. "You hear about this happening all the time," and "See, you relaxed about having a baby and then you got pregnant," and "I knew this would happen." I know people mean well, I really do. I always pray to respond from a place of grace.

I pick my battles. Sometimes I say, "Yes, it does happen," and sometimes I cite the statistics, "Actually, only 5-10% of parents who adopt due to infertility go on to conceive and bear children." And sometimes, perhaps not often enough, I present the answer I believe the strongest.

I believe that we were able to conceive after years of infertility and adoption because God meticulously planned it out just so.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."(Jeremiah 29:11)

If we had conceived when we desperately wanted to, we would not have BB as our son. If we had conceived when we desperately tried to, BB would not have us as his parents. God knew the plans He had for us and for our firstborn son.

God also planned for LB, born one year and four days after our first, to be his little brother. He needed our DNA to make LB. He needed another man and woman's DNA to make BB. BB was not means to an end to get LB - they were both meant for us.

When I tell people our story four years later, I almost always hear the same comment. “That happens all the time. Why do you think that is?”

I should always respond, “Because God said so.”

Friday, April 15, 2011

Join us!


Check out my gorgeous new button for Held! See it? See it?

Eight years ago, in the thick of infertility, I set out to find a community of Christian women suffering from this dark and often hidden disease. I found Hannah's Prayer! Soon after joining I discovered I was pregnant, only to lose that baby very early.

The women at Hannah's Prayer became my lifeline and some beautiful IRL friends, supporting me through miscarriage, my subsequent 3 years of infertility, adoption loss, and adoption. I now count infertility as one of God's biggest blessings on my life, partly because I would never have met these godly women without having experienced it.

I can't take any credit for this new outreach at all, because God is the author of our faith and experience, but I'm humbled to be a part of this new blog! I just know it is going to minister to many women. Maybe to you, my sweet sister.

Right now we're "open" for a sneak peek, and we're officially launching with content on April 25th, a few weeks before the most dreaded and anticipated holiday for the infertile women - Mother's Day. We'll have posts about surviving Mother's Day (and even maybe enjoying it), primary infertility (infertility with no living children), secondary infertility (infertility after birth of a conceived child), adoption loss, adoption, "What Not to Say," advice for pastors and clergy, and above all encouragement and hope for the infertile woman.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing,
And your lips with rejoicing.

Job 8:21

I'm just so excited! Come see!