Sunday, September 10, 2006

Who goes where?


My nephew was baptized this morning. (No, that's not my revelation, stay with me, here.) Obviously, baptism is a time of introspection and reflection as we promise to pray for a child to be raised in a Christian home. It is also a time of family celebration and connectedness.

Sitting there in the congregation, I suddenly felt this moment of loss when I realized that my husband and I may never stand in front of our family with a baby that God created out of all of our DNA. We may never be looked upon by our congregation and hear them say, "They are such a cute combination of both of you!"

The weird thing about IF grief is that it can hit you out of nowhere right when you are feeling at peace with it. The weekend was a whirlwind of baby smells, a soccer game, family fun, laughter, and curiously, a sombrero. It was an easygoing, peaceful time of family. (I just need to clarify that I didn't spend the weekend in a cloud of sadness but rather a sun-shower of wholeness, connectedness, and joy. Sometimes grief is just a "twang" in my heart.)

The next thing that happened in the service was the Children's Story. Children of all ages, sizes, and coloring came forward and sat on the stage with the youth minister. "Those three obviously go together," I thought, "...and those two...and those...." Then, just as suddenly and clearly as I felt a sense of loss earlier, I felt an overwhelming sense of clarity.

I just had this revelation that families built through adoption are just as miraculous as those formed by birth. My nephews look like my brother and his wife - it's gorgeous, glorious, God-ordained. It's absolutely special. And yet, just one example of how a family is formed. In our case, we may not look alike (or we may, we just don't know), but we will be just as loving, just as connected, just as much family as one formed by birth. Our family will also be formed by God for His glory.

Randy and I formed a family when we married. We are not biologically related, but we are a family. My family also includes people who I am only distantly related to - my sister-in-law's parents and her sister, for example. (Hi, guys!) Randy's parents, brothers, and their wives and children, for another example. We are so blessed with loving families who have led by beautiful example. It's a good thing.

Now we're home and back to the wait. After a time surrounded by family, though, it suddenly doesn't seem like such a formidable task. Our lives aren't on hold for our first child. We still have friends and family, all struggling with one thing or another at times. Another beautiful thing about family is that it grows and changes with time. We share triumphs and tragedies, hard times and happy times, for better or for worse. I thank God for my family.

Now, the cat in the crib I am not so jazzed about...

1 comment:

rachel said...

God is not what we would consider time efficent. His timing is so very different from ours. Isn't it awesome to look back and see His master plan working despite our impatience and doubt? I love reading you blog, I think we have a lot in common. I've been there and felt that with you many a time.