Thursday, September 14, 2006


Why do I even bother to wear mascara?

I'm not sure.

The past two days have been hard - really hard. Yesterday we had some disappointing news. Fortunately for me, I had not put on any makeup, because by the end of the day I had produced a lot of tears and other facial fluids. I produced some at the library as I read an outflowing of prayers on Hannah's Prayer (, some at home while watching Oprah, and later, even though I had prepared by sticking two Kleenex in my purse, shed some more at choir practice. (How did I think I was going to get through choir with two measley tissues?)

So today I felt better. I put on some mascara, because surely I was through with the waterworks, and then when to my Mom to Mom Bible study group. I knew I was in trouble as soon as my friend C came up to lead a brief worship. Why hadn't I continued the no-makeup tradition? Why had I not thought to put a couple of tissues in my purse? At least I had my sleeve in lieu of tissues. The song we sang, or I sang about 9 words of, was I Love You, Lord.

Now, probably any other music would have also sent me reeling, but this was just the end. I Love You, Lord was the song that I sang to myself every morning and night as I struggled to get out of bed when I was going through a divorce 6 years ago.

I certainly wasn't grieving over divorce this morning. I don't think I was even really grieving at all. In fact, my tears this morning were those of relief. Relief that no matter what earthly things we go through, God loves me and comforts me. Relief that I know that whatever happens, God is there for me, knows me, and heals my heart when it breaks.

Don't be worried, guys, all is well. Hang in there with me on the ride. We will really go places!

Can anyone recommend me a good waterproof mascara?

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