Saturday, May 31, 2008

Be yourself.

Are you always yourself? I'm not.

I'm a real silly goose, and when I know you and feel comfortable around you I will be myself until we've all laughed a lot. If I don't know people very well, though, I'm actually quiet. Can you believe it?

I am so blessed to have many warm, wonderful friends. There are some though with whom I feel more comfortable and am more myself.

The other day I walked by a small group of people who I consider my friends or close acquaintances, but I didn't stop. I felt like I'd be butting in. In made me sad, because I felt excluded. It was silly, really, because I could certainly have stopped and no one would have said, "What do you think you're doing?", but I just kept walking self-consciously away. I wanted to stop but I didn't know how to jump into the conversation.

If these had been my close friends I would have stopped. If it had been Jennifer, Karen, Andee, or Diane (to name a few), I would probably have stopped and assumed the Karate Kid crane position. "Hello," I'd have said with a straight face, and everyone would have said, "Amy!" Andee would have said, "We're going to have SO MUCH FUN!" and we would.

I'm not always myself. I can really rein it in if I don't feel completely comfortable.

What's my point? I don't really know. I'm just wondering if you think you are always yourself. What do you think?


Allison said...

I always try to be myself... which means I often embarass others! But it breaks the ice and I'm known as a goofball. It's funny though - one of my IRL friends recently let loose with me and she's a crack-up! I had no idea after 2 years of friendship...

Sarah said...

I'm like you...quiet until you get to know me really well, then I can totally just let go and be silly or make funny wisecracks. So, I totally get your post!

Amy T. S. said...

I definitely think you're funny, Sarah, you have a sparkle in your eye. (I've never seen Allison's eyes.)

thekeller3 said...

I'm not always myself either. I can definitely jump into anyone's conversation, but I don't let myself be vulnerable with other people until I really feel like I can trust them with "me."

By the way, Hi, and I miss talking with you. Life is crazy with 2 little ones, isn't it?!

Esther said...

never met you IRL but I feel like I pratically know you:0)
I hated the first day of school every year for this reason. I hated trying to fit in. Now adays, i just don't want to feel like a silly goose because I hate chit chat and love meaningful conversations. I do feel out of place most of the time. I greet at church ( pre Robbie) and often looked at people chatting it up and thought what are they possibly talking about? I just don't have that much to say except to my close friends.