Thursday, August 17, 2006

Rude Awakening

I'm not healed, dog gonnit (is that blasphemy? sorry).

I am angry that my body is broken. I hate not being able to do something I want to do! I don't even really think this is about not achieving/sustaining pregnancy, but about feeling like I am not good enough to do something I want to do. This does not happen to me very often, and it is kicking my butt!

So, I am ANGRY today!

If you think I'm whining, then TOO BAD. Get over it. Go somewhere else.

(An uncharacteristic rant from my camp.)

I'm angry, God! Lord, turn this anger into something beautiful. You've done it before, Lord. I promise I'll thank you later, but right now I pray that you just know my heart.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Pool Snapshot said...

The inability to conceive made me sad, the inability to control the process of the wait makes me angry, and that's the state I have been in for the past 2 days. So. I'll gladly join my scream to yours: ARRRRGHHHHHHHH too!

Kristina said...

Ditto. My husband and I are both school teachers, and we just can't get the money together to adopt. I am actually a little jealous of you because your couple information is already with an agency, and your homestudy is already done. We aren't able to even start the process until we have saved a minimum of $10,000. It will take us a year to save that much money. So, I am there with you, too. WAAAAAAAAAH!
Kristina