Today I went to jail, and then prison. It was a tragic story of love and loss.
First, let me clarify, my jailer was 6 years old, and my partner in crime, 3.
I was handcuffed and thrown in jail. I was innocent, I promise. My nephew (3K), who will be 4 in October, decided to visit me in my cell (the study). I don't know if I was pleased or afraid that the second time he came to visit me he brought me a gun. Excellent. So, we were hiding under the desk from the policeman (6K, in uniform), and I had the handcuffs in one pocket and the police officer's gun in the other. (The policeman changed to a laser gun.)
The officer came back in and I raised my gun and pow-powed him, as he did to me. He said, "It's time to move to the prison."
I said, "What's the charge? I need a lawyer. I'm innocent!"
Policeman: "No you're not - you shot me."
My attorney (Randy), "He's right, sweetie, you did."
Aw, man! So off to prison I went. Sad, scared, alone. But not for long. 3K soon brought me a fun baby toy where you push and pull the levers and Disney characters pop up. Then he brought me Elmo's guitar, an electronic game, and grabbers. He kept bringing me toys and saying, "Here you go - I brought you this," with a sweet smile. Later he brought me some cars to play with. Let me tell you that this boy loves cars, so he really must consider me a kindred spirit to bring me some.
The policeman made me sign an affidavit that I would not do anything bad again, and I had to write my name one million times on a piece of paper. I think I got in about 40 as the signature got bigger and bigger as I went. That seemed to be OK with 6K and I was released.
Believe me, I'm going straight from now on. That was a harrowing experience. Don't worry - you will not be seeing me on Americas Most Wanted.