Sunday, December 18, 2005

Weakness

Why me, Lord?

The holidays are so difficult. I feel so much loss. I would have had a 14-month-old this Christmas, and maybe even be expecting #2. Our baby is nowhere in sight, and everywhere around me there are new babies celebrating their first Christmas or preparing to be born to their first Christmas next year. Of the only babies I am allowed (feline), one has to be dying of cancer. She's so sweet, and when she plays and loves on us it only reminds me that she will be euthanized soon. Why do precious things like dreams of a newborn baby and beloved pets get taken away? What on earth is God's plan with all this? AND, this is nothing compared to what some people are going through this Christmas.

I know the correct answer to all of these questions. That is, the purpose of this life on earth is for us to glorify the Lord. But guess what, sometimes this isn't consoling.

I'm whining, I know. But, I hurt. It's such a very hard time of year to be wanting.

I AM thankful, I really am. I have been blessed with love, salvation, and material things. This must be one of those times where there is one set of footprints in the sand.

1 comment:

Christine said...

This is a good time to dig around and read some of the stuff David would say to God. He let it all hang out.

You can't NOT feel it.

It's healthy to say it out loud and work through it.

It SUCKS ... but it's healthy.

:)