Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I'm not heavy

Today I had my adoption physical. After a clean bill of health, my new doctor said to me, "The only thing I would say is that you are heavier than I would like."

Huh? What's THAT supposed to mean? Well, I know what that means, but hello? This is a great time for comments, by the way! ;o)

I am not happy. The first thing I did when I got home was run a mile or so. If this gets me to shed the fertility drug weight I have, then I guess thanks, doc?

One of my dear Hannahs pointed something out that I think makes a lot of sense. After our bodies go through infertility and fail us repeatedly in that area, we expect the adoption physical to turn up something unexpected that will prevent us from adopting. My doctor telling me I am too heavy, while I know that this is not true, is construed by me as my body betraying me again. I definitely feel this way.

Sure, I'd like to shed a few pounds. Who wouldn't? I am sure I have a little extra weight from months of ingesting hormones, too. I just could have done without the weight comment at a time at which I was feeling vulnerable. Justice will prevail, however, if I keep up this exercise regimen I have taken up over the past few days with the holidays here. Where's the fudge so I can look longingly at it while I nibble on a carrot like a rabbit...


Jamie said...

I found your blog through Mark & Courtney's. They are the couple planning on adopting from Ukraine. We attended the same church for a few years in Lansing, MI.

Wow! What a struggle. You probably don't want to hear this, but my husband and I have two children. Your words made me appreciate them even more. I couldn't help but hug my son after reading your blog.

I pray that your holiday season is filled with joy. That you may feel God's presence. That the void in your heart will not feel so empty.

-Julie (Jamie's wife)

Amy T. S. said...

Thanks, Julie! That's sweet. I just spent the afternoon with my good friend who has 3, count them, 3 children under 3! I can see how challenging it is to parent, and as much as we want children, I too can appreciate my own space and freedom. I'd better relish it while it lasts!

Thanks for your comment. yay!


Christine said...

Your doctor is a bonehead!

Just my opinion! :)

We have a new foster placement! We're "mixing it up" a little bit. This little sweetheart is 3.5 years old. He has CP. He also has the most beautiful, heart-melting eyes you'll ever see in your life. We're crazy busy, but thrilled to share the holidays with him.

Merry Christmas, Amy!