20 years

Are you where you thought you'd be 20 or more years out of Gymnasium?

Am I?

I guess. I was never one who knew what she wanted to be straight out of high school (or college for that matter, or graduate school, you get the picture), so it's not like I'd planned to be a medical doctor right now and missed the mark or anything. I suppose I assumed I'd be married and have 2 children and live in a house with an attached garage, and that I am.

I'll tell you what I did not expect. I did not expect to have been divorced, which I was in 2000. I did not expect 4 years of infertility, which I experienced in my second-time's-a-charm marriage. I did not expect to have a child by adoption and talk on the phone with the woman who gave him birth, call her "family", and look forward to the day when my son can spend the night at her house so that they can get to know each other better.

I did not expect to find myself trusting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at age 26 and begin following Him, reading God's word regularly, attending a Baptist church, Bible study and blogging about my love for Him and His love for me (and you). I didn't expect to love going to church, sing in the choir, and enjoy seeing my fellow believers lift their hands to Jesus in worship. (Yes, even in a Baptist church some people do that!) Yet this is where I find myself, and I find my greatest fulfillment.

So are you where you thought you'd be? If not, does it matter? If so, does it live up to your expectations? I believe that my expectations have been exceeded abundantly. What I've learned is that it's better not to be married at all than to be married to someone with whom you are incompatible. It's also unbelievably wonderful to be married to someone as caring, considerate, and helpful as my spouse. I've learned that it is not always biology that makes a family. I've learned that what I do does not define who I am, but for me, God does. In His eyes I am perfect and wonderfully made, because His son sacrificed himself on a cross to pay for my sins once and for all, and when He looks at me he sees Jesus rather than mistake-making me. Peace doesn't come from a job or an income or a marriage.

Do I sound overly prophetic here? I find that my brain is slowly seeping back into my head after getting through 2 years of infants and a pregnancy. Therefore you'll have to listen to me go on and on about some things rather than look at a million pictures of my cute children all the time. But never fear, Grandmas, I'll keep posting those too.

If this post causes you to evaluate your current life, I'd love to hear about it!

YVT,
Amy