Thursday, August 07, 2008

Create much?

I think I've done something pretty neat.

Did you know that I was a musician? Probably, since I used to student teach music and at one point in my life posted about it more often.

Ever since I was a little girl I used to like to write music. I'm not much of a lyricist, but I've always enjoyed composing melodies and harmonies. I haven't done it in a really long time, although I did arrange "Be Thou My Vision" for a friend's wedding processional a few years back.

When Big Brother was a wee bairn I used to sing him to sleep, and around Valentine's Day of 2007 a lullaby emerged. The lyrics are silly, but I think the melody is kind of catchy. The lyrics are:

Baby [B.B.], I love you.
I would take you over the ocean blue.
Baby [B.B.], you are mine,
Won't you be my Valentine?

I need to write it down and notate it. I only ever sing the melody, but I can "hear" what harmonies I'd like to go with it.

Now another lullaby has emerged for Little Brother. The lyrics are equally silly!

L.B.Rino, I love you,
L.B. Rino, my love is true.
L.B. Rino, how I love you so,
L.B. Rino.

Again I sing him the melody every night, but I also can hear in my head the harmonies that go with the tune. This evening I sat down at the piano and played around with it a little bit. The result, I thought, was quite lovely and it made me cry. I need need to notate it, too. It's so pretty, and music always makes me cry anyway, so I'm quite taken with myself right now.

Lately I've been feeling sad that my babies are growing up and some day I won't get to hold them in my arms and rock them to sleep.* However, with these songs I can always, always go back to them and connect with my feelings about my sweet boys when they were babies.

These boys have been miracles in my life. BB satisfied my long-unfulfilled dream of a baby to love. Thanks to his birthmom who has given us the most precious gift, we were able to become parents. Even though LB is our biological child, he will never replace or compare to our firstborn child who began to quench such a great longing to be parents. Just as parents love each child differently (not more or less), I love both of my children differently, although the same. Make sense?

Anyhow, forgive me if it sounds as if I'm bragging about my great musical prowess as a composer. Whether someone else thinks my songs are wonderful or not isn't important to me. I'm just pleased that I have a way to remember each of these guys.

I promise I won't call L.B. "L.B. Rino" when he goes to college.

*I feel I have to point out that when I start feeling nostalgic about these guys' babyhood, I try to remember my friends and others who have lost children, either by infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or death, and to remember how blessed we are that we even get to hold these babies on this earth at all. Love and prayers to you if this has been your experience.


Liz said...

I do the same - my babies have a mom-made lullabye, too...

And I cry when I think of them growing up and leaving me...

NotTheMama said...

I absolutely love stealing (ha, with permission, of course) my niece/nephews right at bedtime (okay, any other time, too), and rocking/swaying and singing them to sleep... (My sister-in-law has "threatened multiple times to give me a call and let me work my magic on her 9-month-old who doesn't like to sleep a lot!) Isn't making up songs for them the best? :)