Saturday, December 16, 2006

He was adopted

When do I get to the point that I don't feel like I need to tell everyone who comments on how cute Baby is that he was adopted? Maybe it's no one's business but ours and his birthparents'. I guess I feel like I'm playing a role when people say, "Oh, he's so cute," and if I say "Thanks," I am taking credit for it. Or in the back of my mind I'm just waiting on the question about labor where I'll have to say, "Well, I didn't give birth to him." I was there, so I can comment on the labor, I suppose.

Maybe part of this is that I want to give his birthparents credit for creating him, carrying him, and giving birth to him. I feel like I'm doing them a disservice by not acknowledging that some very special people gave us this precious gift of parenthood.

Things are going great with the birthparents. They are each bright and pleasant to be around. I find myself having to hold back from being in too frequent contact with K in order to continue to give her time to grieve and us time to bond with him. It's fun to share about his milestones and development with her.

We're doing well. Baby is sleeping pretty well at night, is fairly active during the day, and is getting cuter by the millisecond. I love getting my development updates each Thursday. This week Baby will have his 2-month pediatrician's visit (I keep saying "Vet," though), and will get his shots - I've got the earplugs ready.

Happy Christmas!


katie said...

I think when people comment on how cute your boy is, you should feel perfectly free to agree with them! He IS adorable after all, and I'm sure you must know that best of all!

Ken, Edan & Coralee said...

Could he be any cuter? Coralee saw the picture and said he was "handsome". This girl knows her stuff! ;)

MrsJennaHatfield said...

Denise and I just had this discussion on the playground during our visit last week. Another Mother commented on how cute the Munchkin was to Denise. Denise got all discombobulated and then later told me that she felt wrong just saying thanks. I told her to take it as a compliment. The kid IS cute. There's no denying it. Take the compliment for your child who will be able to say, "Thanks, my eyes are from my birth mom but doesn't my Mommy dress me like the most handsome kid on the planet," in the future?. :)

Let yourself be a Mom. :)

Jayne said...

I'm with Katie - agree with them since you feel the same way. Just say, "We think so, too." And if you feel the need to say more, add "He is such a blessing to us."

Christine said...

When people comment on how cute Presh is, Michael loves to say, "Isn't she?! I'm so glad she got my hair!" ha! ha! ha! ha!

I'm thinking that you could just look at people and say, "He is stinkin' adorable, isn't he?" If you ever get a, "Who does he look like? You or your husband?" You can actually reply, "Amazingly, he looks like my husband" (on a side note, I really think he does in some of those pics - so cool!), "which is really odd because he's adopted!"

I find myself rarely thinking twice about the adoption, but I do find that other people get uncomfortable if they feel like they went too far and asked too much. So, I try to do all I can to keep smiling. I don't mind that they ask! The more I smile, the more comfortable they'll feel ... the better for adoptions everywhere.

With the trans-racial adoption thing, I still get the 'ole, "So, are you babysitting today?" comments. However, now that Presh is older, I just look at her and say, "Babysitter? Presh, who am I?" With as much drama as she can muster, she'll say, "Yer my MOMMY, silly!"

Kary said...

I just gave birth to twins and when people tell me how beautiful they are, I feel strange saying Thank you. It is not like I had a hand in it (plus people say that no matter what). I think it is God's grace and power that made them that way. A simple thanks is fine or you could even wholeheartedly agree: YES, HE IS!
I got to your blog through Our Shady Tree. I have enjoyed reading it a lot. Thank you and Merry Christmas!