Back when we were adopting, I used to blog all the time. It was a good opportunity for me to process my feelings about adoption and include others in the exciting process. Then Little Brother happened. Suddenly I had one foot in the infertility and adoption world and one foot in the pregnant and parenting world. I stopped blogging.
Granted, the time I had to write significantly decreased when evenings went from beginning at dinner time and ending at 10:00 to beginning at 9:00 after the kids are all in bed and we have actually eaten dinner too. But also, I was afraid.
I was afraid that I would suddenly appear to have forgotten how it felt to experience infertility. I was afraid that my new experiences would hurt others. I started a new parenting blog but didn't keep that up because of the aforementioned time constraints. And then life just felt too busy. I know everyone is busy and many people more so than I. But it is what it is and that's my excuse.
I recently read a book by Kathi Lipp called The me project: 21 days to living the life you've always wanted. I've read the book but haven't put the daily projects into place. The gist of the book is that we are uniquely created by God for a purpose. Figuring out what that is takes our cooperation. Kathi sets out 21 projects to move toward doing so including journaling, finding a mentor, and spending time in prayer with God about His plan and purpose for my life.
Some of the things I have thought I want to do, outside of parenting, include writing, speaking, encouraging, music making, and improving my amateur photography. I think that's possibly too many to take on all at once for my first project.
I'm not sure where The Me Project will take me, but there is one thing I have already discovered that is pretty cool. I think I am already living the life God designed for me. I don't do it perfectly, I could do it better in some areas if I were more x, y, or z, and it's not a perfect life. No one's is. But when I think about the ways I spend my time, excepting the time I sometimes spend mindlessly, I get a little buzz. I think that's the Holy Spirit saying, "Keep doing what you're doing."
This is the life.