My heart is just heavy these past few days for so many people I know and care for who are going through various trials right now, including long-term primary infertility and other related and non-related health issues. It's not pity I'm feeling, because nobody likes that, but I guess an empathy and understanding that in the midst of my child-centered life I had forgotten that I possessed.
Here is a very touching video attempting to (and doing a good job of) show how infertility feels. I have to admit that yes, I had forgotten what it felt like. You'll have to highlight it and paste because as of this moment I don't know how to link it. I'll check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRYJdAEkBC8
It's not that I feel impelled to spend the rest of my waking days trying to remember in my heart how infertility felt. I know that we all have seasons in our lives during which we struggle with various things more so than others and we do move on in one way or the other in acceptance or resignation and hopefully peace. Although my struggle with infertility seems to be over it is a significant part of who I am. I will refer back to this periodically.
God uses all things for His good (Romans 8:28), but sometimes it doesn't feel like it when you're in the midst of something like infertility and loss. I think the depth of those feelings take you by surprise whether it's your experience or somebody elses.
The next time you meet someone new, say "Tell me something about yourself?" rather than "Do you have kids?" or "Where do you work?" or "Are you married?" You never know if that person is experiencing infertility, out of work, or single and wanting to be married. Just a thought.
If you are experiencing infertility, you are not alone! Look at www.resolve.org or Hannah's Prayer Ministries (www.hannah.org). There is hope.
We're a happy little family of 5 who have been blessed. God has given us each other, our family and friends, and most importantly, with His only son Jesus who died for us. Jesus was adopted by Joseph, don't ya' know!
5 comments:
I loved this post, Amy. Thank you. When I meet someone new, I always say, "What brings you here today?" or "You look nice today." With the latter, I use a specific example, like, "I love your shoes," or, "Your hair looks pretty." I never ask those questions that can be so painful to others. Thank you for mentioning this in your blog. If you have educated just one person, it was worth mentioning.
Love in Christ,
Kristina in GA
(HP)
Hi Amy - wow, you really touched me with this video. I had sort of forgot how painful some of those feelings can be since my husband and I decided to adopt. I think it was good for me to feel those feelings again - makes me really aware once again, of the struggle one endures when we are pasted with that "infertile" label. Thanks for sharing that video, and I always enjoy reading your blog, and seeing pictures of your boys. :) Brenda
Thanks, Icky.
Love you, girl.
Can I say I just love you?
P.S. Hey, did you get your creative memories figured out?
Amy,
I clicked to your site from the AHS alumni page. I'm Jeff Gunnerson's sister, Sara (now Prehm). Just wanted to let you know your posts about infertility hit home with me. We went through years of treatments before IVF worked for us and Nate was born. I am so happy to see you have your beautiful babies, and that you have been blessed in many different ways. Isn't it amazing to be a mom? Have you watched the Kellie Coffey video called "I would die for that" on YouTube? Makes me cry every time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ
I, too, need to counsel myself to remember the pain I used to feel every day when I felt like a mom in my heart, but just didn't have my son yet.
Hope you are having a lovely summer!
Sara Prehm
Des Moines
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