Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm glad yesterday is over.

Although it's really not. It is 10:45 which makes it still Mother's Day, but lest I don't have time to post tomorrow I thought I'd spew forth some thoughts.

Mother's Day is hard for so many people. It's hard for women who long for children with empty arms, the men who love them, women and men who have had a mother die or are estranged for some reason, and people who have lost children, to name a few. It used to be hard for me and I know it's very hard on some of my friends right now. So it was a highly charged day and I'm ready for a run-of-the-mill Monday.

This morning I sat with a friend going through IF and other health issues and watched as the woman sitting next to her rubbed her obviously pregnant belly and had her husband put his hand on the baby as they made goo-goo eyes at each other. I very clearly remembered how it felt to be my friend and I just wanted to throw my arm around her, point at the other woman and yell, "Hellooo?? Can you get a rooooom?" Ugh. But I also know that that couple were rejoicing together and have no reason to consider why that display might have stung an IF woman just a tad. But I figured it must have. It reminded me of my other sweet friends dreaming of a) a future Mother's Day with a baby in her arms, or at least b) tomorrow.

I worked in the children's area at church today. Many mothers did not want to serve on Mother's Day, which I understand, but I just felt so blessed to be a mother today that I didn't mind missing a church service to help out. I was in the baby room with 3 other moms and we had some fun, too. Plus we got chocolate for serving on this day, so it was worth it. I didn't feel like I needed a big to-do for the day, because my sweet boys and husband are so sweet every day.

We went out to dinner to a local restaurant where there is a fenced-in playground for the kids, (No, not McDonald's, although I did dine there the other night much to my Diane's chagrin) and enjoyed a quasi-relaxing dinner outside. Then we came home and I finished watching "Kit Kittridge: An American Girl." It was a good day and I'm glad tomorrow is coming soon. Like in one hour and 4 minutes. Must. Go. To. Sleep.


Mark and Niki said...

You're tricky posting this with a Monday date and time ;) But I know better! That and you said you were writing it Sunday night. I'm glad you had a good day. I love your sensitive heart!

Donna said...

Okay, I'm now "up-to-date" on your life - well, at least the past few years.

I was so blessed reading your blog and your transparency about life!

Keep up the great posts....

Liz said...

I have a friend who lost his only child a few months ago. This 21-month-old died in his sleep for no apparent reason - cause of death: unknown. They tried 10 years to have a baby and now their arms are empty again. Reading his blog reminds me to cherish my kids. When he sees parents who ignore or are ugly to their children, it kills him inside. Don't they know what they have? he asks.

Like when I was single and wanted to be married, it really hurt me when married women would blast their husbands publicly or behind their backs. Didn't they understand what a blessing it was not to go home to an empty apartment every day? Now that I'm married, I make every effort to honor my husband around others, and also in our home. I never want to take him for granted.

That being said, I think that it's when people don't realize their blessings that it hurts others. I don't think we can begrudge anyone for rejoicing or celebrating in the blessings of God, and I know that's not what you meant. Because that's part of spiritual maturity - to rejoice with others, even when we are going through grief.

When I was just a few weeks pregnant with Josh, I spent a few days with a couple friend of mine who have spent years, money and tears trying to have a baby, both biologically and through various adoption routes. I did not mention to my friend that I was pregnant again because I did not want to cause her pain. But I think, when she found I had kept it from her, it hurt her worse that I would not let her rejoice with me. She is still, to this day, waiting for a baby. Her husband decorated a nursery for her for Mother's Day, even though they still have no baby prospects. I pray constantly for a precious baby for their arms. At the same time, she prays for and with me for my kids.

I sure do love you, Amy. You have such a ministry to women struggling with infertility because of what you have gone through. I had lost your blog address for a few months, so I missed some great entries. Just wanted to catch up, I suppose.