I'm practicing my PR skills! I created this one using Canva and it was really easy. It's not the right size, but it sure is pretty.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Once upon a time, there was a blog. Started by a wife and music therapist who longed to be a mom, the blog was a place of processing, sharing, community, and love. There came a blog fellowship, and even a blogging community called Held: A Hannah's Prayer Ministry. When the children came, the blog fell away, since parenting understandably took over my life.

Almost 11 years ago our first child came to us by adoption. Just a year later came a brother and we were done with babies. I went back to work part-time as an independent contractor with a local music therapy business when the boys were in a Mother's Day Out program, and promptly became shocked to be pregnant again at age 41. "I ruined our family," I cried to my husband one evening, and that turned out to be false. God's plans are not our own! (Isaiah 55:9)

That little baby girl turned five years old in June, and we began to prepare for kindergarten. This will be our one year when our three children are all in the same school!

I planned to go back to my contract after the summer, but I recently found that it would be discontinued. The school district for which I subcontracted chose to go another way with providing music therapy services. I am so pleased that they will continue to provide music therapy, and was actually not disappointed at all that I would no longer be providing services for them. I had ideas!

I do love a good reinvent, I always have. I used to love to move, the bigger the move the better! New areas, new friends, new surroundings, and new understanding of the world and of my Creator and how He made me. I've lived some really fun lifetimes, and here comes a new one!

Last week, Oak Song Music Therapy and Consulting Services was born! It's a leap of faith, as right now it's just little old me trying to start getting things going, with a whole lot of music therapy experience, but no clients, no marketing materials, and little to no business know-how. Sounds like a recipe for excitement to me!

My prayers are that I would be smack dab in the center of God's will for life and business; that I would develop a satisfying client base and a beautiful website where I can share information and ideas; and that I would honor God in the process and get to know Him deeper. It would be so easy to keep my faith to myself and become overwhelmed with developing a business, but this is my new baby and I've got to be a good parent. This includes honoring God and His precepts in parenting it.

Eleven years later, there is to be a blog started by a mom who desired to start a music therapy business and brand. Until then, I will use this place to share my thoughts and feelings about this new venture. I've realized that aspects of my personality that I was starting to think looked a lot like ADHD were really more a result of parenting requiring short bursts of attention. I don't think I've focused on anything but changing diapers, breaking up spats, and feeding children snacks for the past 11 years!

Back to business. I am honored that you might join me.

Hi, Whitney!

I have this friend, I'll call her "Whitney," because that's her name. I think it's always a good idea to call people by their correct name.

Whitney and I love bagels. I don't eat many bagels these days because now I'm more than 10 years older than when she and I first met and my body does not like carbs. (Let me clarify, I like carbs, my belly does not like carbs.) My now 9-year-old son loves bagels, too, so I'll eat one whenever I can as a show of solidarity with my middle child.

Once I was at Einstein Brother's Bagels in Austin, Texas before classes for a masters degree in music and human learning from The University of Texas at Austin. Then twice I was there, and I kept seeing the same lovely face. The third time, Whitney and I introduced ourselves and a long-term friendship was born.

I was keeping this blog as an infertility and adoption blog in those days, and Whitney was probably my biggest encourager. When she was pregnant, I was a little envious, but she was so gracious about it, and I think we had adopted our oldest son by then so the sting wasn't as painful as it had once been. At Whitney's baby shower for her first son, I was about 8 weeks pregnant with said middle child and got to tell her so. It was sweet.

Time passed, we each had two boys by then, and even though I had moved, we kept up. Then when I was suddenly, shockingly pregnant with our youngest, a daughter, and I looked for a doula, I couldn't resist hiring one that was a childhood friend of Whitney's. (Also at her baby shower was a music therapist mutual friend who I see regularly at Central Texas Music Therapy Association meetings, but I digress.) The last time Whitney and I saw each other was when Jenna was just a few months old and dear Whitney drove over an hour in San Antonio traffic to come visit. Hopefully we will remedy that since all of our five children will be in school as of August 28.

I am pretty sure nobody remembers this blog much anymore, the infertility posts dried up as we had children and got into full-fledged parenting mode, but I'm guessing Whitney remembers. Hence, my post.

Hi, Whitney!

Love,

Your faithful friend,

Amy

Mercies

I have never been a morning person. Understatement. There have been times this has been more painful than others.

When I had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. every day to jump into a cold indoor pool when it was zero degrees Fahrenheit outside.

When I had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. every day to jump into a cold outdoor pool when it was zero degrees Celsius outside.

When I was going through a divorce and woke up every morning in a drab dorm room in Topeka, Kansas feeling broken but had to go to work and be a people-person. Truthfully, I would go into my office and lie down on the floor and weep. That was a hard time.

Still, when the alarm goes off and it's still dark outside I sometimes flash back to those times and do feel grateful that I am getting up to a cute 2-year-old and a nice hot cup of coffee.

I'm bleary-eyed as I type this morning - I stayed up too late last night as usual - and what I meant to do was open my Bible to spend some time with God. His word states that we are to give us our firstfuits. I'm not sure that means exhausted, going-through-the-motions-before-coffee thing or a give Him our best thing. He deserves it.

__________________________________

The above was written three years ago when I had a 2-year-old to wake up to. I've gotten better at the morning thing, by the grace of God, and in one week I'll be up bright and early to take that girl to kindergarten. "God is close to the brokenhearted," Psalm 34:18.

I have hastily posted this one in preparation for a new adventure. Stay tuned.

ADHD in da house!

I'm an ADHD mom! I don't have it, as far as I know, although there are some moments I wonder!

I'm in the club now - the special ed mom's club. Eh - it's okay, there are a lot of nice folks here, but it's not what I would have chosen.

But do you know who did choose it for me? The Lord. My son has ADHD - he is A Dude Heavenly Designed.

My son is fun and exciting! Things would be a lot more buttoned-up around here without him. He can do flips on the trampoline, gymnastic front supports on any surface before him, and he has mastered every physical task he's ever tried.

He has memorized every word he has seen on paper. He is a great reader when he can sit in one place to do it. He is fast at math, he understands science concepts easily, and he has amazing hand-eye coordination. He is smart and engaging, he has rarely met a stranger, and he's as sweet as pie to his loved ones. My mom would never forgive me if I didn't also mention that he loves nature and the environment.

He is not a great writer, attention deficits make it very hard to get ideas from the fast brain into the physical realm to write. Handwriting is difficult for him, given his druthers he won't do it. He frequently does not finish work at school, has little concept of time, and forgets that you've told him to get dressed within seconds after you've said it.

And God has a perfect plan for him.

The first step was to figure out if his exuberance was a part of an organized personality or was there something else going on? We then officially adjusted to an ADHD diagnosis. It was hard! Hard to accept that your child is not "normal," whatever that looks like, and that he might struggle with this for his whole childhood and into adulthood. Then as school became more demanding we had to get a feel for what kind of special needs he'll have and what kind of learner he is. Did we want to try medication or behavioral support? Therapy? An IEP? What is an IEP? Section 504 plan? What is Section 504? Are there other disabilities?

In our case we don't currently qualify for special education services like an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA; PL 94-142). He will have the same education plan as his neurotypical peers (my new favorite word - neurotypical) but with accommodations.

Maybe he'll complete all odd or even problems, maybe he can type instead of hand-write, maybe he can have a special chair that helps him receive the sensory feedback he needs to sit still. There are a lot of things good teachers automatically do for different students, like giving preferential seating for students with glasses, and a 504 plan will allow those accommodations to follow the student from teacher to teacher so that each one does not have to reinvent the accommodation wheel.

I've been involved in special ed for over a decade as a music therapist, so I understand a little bit of some of the legalese and history behind these educational protections for students with special needs, but most parents don't. How on earth are we supposed to figure this out on our own? There are groups and agencies, yes, but that doesn't make it any less overwhelming.

So this week we are going to have a 504 meeting with the Licensed Specialist in School Psychology (LSSP), the classroom teacher, an administrator and little old me to start discussions on how to best help my child succeed in school, how to "level the playing field" so he is able to benefit from his education as much as his peers who are able to sit still and complete their work in an organized fashion.

This kid will likely not have the school success that some neurotypical (love) students have. We will struggle with homework, remembering to bring home assignments, tests, behaviors, teachers who may or may not "get" the kid with ADHD, medication levels, therapy techniques, insurance issues, which parenting books to read, and finding activities he will enjoy and be successful.

We know that school is not a measure of life success! It's a measure of academic success for students who are made for school.

We will always have to deal with the reactions and expectations of other people who sometimes don't believe that ADHD actually exists and that it is a result of low intelligence, disorganized behavior, or poor parenting.

This can leave me feeling very alone.

But we are never alone. No matter whether my son is the only young man in the world who has ADHD or if there are millions of children who live and excel with it. I'll never be the only one to love my child, protect him, stick up for him - I will always have his Creator to do those things. A Dude Heavenly Designed by a heavenly Creator.

I was also heavenly designed to be a parent to this kid. I might trade the ADHD for perfect attention if that didn't change my child. I might. But it is a part of him just as having musical talent is a part of me. Can we be the same person without our idiosyncrasies? I don't think so.

I'll be trying to make sense of this as time goes on, and my guess is I'll probably be entitled to a degree in special education by the time schooling my children is done! I'll take it.

Little One

I once had this precious friend. We looked out for each other and protected each other fiercely. I called her "Little One" and she called me something untoward, but out of love!

She is gone now, into the arms of Jesus too soon. I usually think about her with a smile and a shake of my head, but sometimes I still feel overwhelmed with grief, even years later. I miss her.

I have a new friend for whom I have similar sweet feelings. It's different - we're older (I'm way older) and both have families, so it's not as all-encompassing as those feelings were for Little One.

This sweet sister is a Little One, too. I just love her and want to protect her fiercely.

My new friend just lost a long-desired son, also into the arms of Jesus too soon. Not too soon for him, but maybe too soon for us here on earth. And my heart breaks for this sweet woman. She is funny, smart, honest, transparent, and man, is she a fierce lover of Jesus.

I'm feeling overwhelmed today - that God would have given me all of those years with the original Little One, who I loved so deeply, and now has reminded me He still gives me sweet friends like her. He gives us the ability for this deep love and that is a gift.

As my new friend continues to release her sweet son into the arms of His sweet Son, we are held by Him, too. He gives good gifts to His children. Sometimes those gifts are only ours on earth for a season. That is hard - really hard. Thank you, God, for my Little Ones and their little ones, on earth and in heaven.

We pray for long relationships and yet still consider you merciful when you call them back to You. See you later, Little One, give this sweet baby boy a ribcracker.

Sugar and spice.

Sometimes I still can't believe this happened.

Not the movie night, but the three children. So grateful.

It's not always like that, there are those days! Sometimes I could just not be bothered. When I'm tired, when they're fighting, when homework is hard. But this - wow.

"He has restored the years the locus had eaten." Joel 2:25.

Sometimes He restores years in a way we hadn't imagined - as a family of two, as a parent of a child with special needs, as parents of children already in the arms of Jesus - but he restores.

Thank you, Lord.

Begin parentheses.

Ah, vacation! Love to go, love to come home. Praying for a good night's sleep for all tonight.

Know what will help me to sleep easier? Knowing that tomorrow about 100 items of clutter will be leaving my home. Buh-bye now.

Under kitchen cabinet #1 - decluttered! I got rid of two stacks of papers (one in that yellow bag), and several appliances that I don't currently use, I don't love, and I wouldn't buy again ("Clutter Free", p. 144).

After! I even had room to stick a box of baby wipes that I always use to clean kitchen surfaces (and baby surfaces).

So what, right?  Maybe. But I have gotten tired of thinking, "If only I were better organized I would get so much more done." The bulk of the problem likely isn't organization at all, but clutter - too much stuff.

Kathi (you know, my new virtual BFF) writes, "Yes, you are giving away clutter (anything you don't use, love, or wouldn't buy again), but more importantly you are creating room for the things you value. The things that make it possible to do the work you're called to, the things that remind you of all your people and blessings" (p. 146).

But it's a KITCHEN! You're right, but it's a start. I love my family and love being fed. Tomorrow for dinner, chili in that red crock pot!

You are blessed.

Simplify

When Andrew was about Jenna's age I decided that it was time to get back to work and ministry. The first few years of The Brothers lives went by in a haze for me and suddenly they were both in preschool and I had two days a week to do something for myself. Frankly, I can't remember what I did!

Fast forward to last May when I once again felt like I could take on some professional activities now that Jenna was about to go to Mother's Day Out twice a week. I agreed to do some music therapy assessments in the fall for a local school district. But it was May, right, so I thought I would start a couple of other new things, too.

And now? I have too many things I am trying to do and I need to streamline! Currently on my professional roster, in order of appearance, I am a Creative Memories/Ahni & Zoe consultant, a Legacy Republic Independent Consultant, a Music Together instructor, a Young Living distributor, and a music therapist. Too much.

In searching for life significance in activities other than serving my family, church, and community, I have made a crazy busy life for myself. As a result of that I feel like I do a lot of things with mediocrity and little with excellence. Rather than being a good steward of the little things with which God has entrusted me, I have sought out bigger things and don't have enough time and energy for the really important things - marriage and family.

And admittedly, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and time spent in fellowship with God have also gone to the wayside. There is just so much to do, and I push my quiet time back later and later in the day until the day disappears.

In my circle of friends many of us decide to choose one word to live by in the new year. I think my word for 2015 will be "Simplify." I want to simplify my home, and simplify my life so that I can do the things I believe God has called me to do and say goodbye to things that are good and healthy and not for me to do.

I am starting with the book "Clutter free: Quick and easy steps to simplifying your space," by Kathi Lipp. I heard Kathi speak at my local MOPS group last spring and decided we should be best friends. Perhaps not in real life, but at least virtually. The thing I love about this book so far is that it's not just another organizational system. I have tried organizational systems. They work for me for awhile and then it just gets overwhelming because I have too much stuff and too many irons on the fire. This is a book about getting rid of stuff. I feel like if I have less clutter in my life that I can concentrate on the things that really matter.

So, here I go. Simplify. Starting to blog again is not simplifying, it's adding another thing to my to-do list. However, accountability is important and if I am not vocal about what I am doing, I know I'm likely to not do it. I will simplify, I promise, but it is going to be a work in progress! My hope is to chronicle it here, but if that doesn't work I will have to let it go.

Aren't you glad my theme is "Simplify" and not "Let it GO." Oh yes, she went there.

You are blessed.

Seasons.

I know I'm in the right profession when Mondays are my favorite day of the week. We're not very busy, it's just baby and me, and I get to putter. I don't do much puttering, usually. 

Once I had a young person suggest to me that I must not get much exercise being at home all day.

Let's let that sink in a little. Wait . . .

Yeah, no. We have a two story house and a lot of laundry. I have a toddler who loves me more than all else. Elmo comes close, but Elmo can't carry her around, especially not up and down stairs, which I do probably 15-20 times a day. I'm not out running a marathon, but I'm moving around for sure.

The other days of the week I go up and down the stairs trying to get kids ready to get out the door. Then I have to make sure I'm actually dressed, have combed my hair and brushed my teeth, and am not wearing my house slippers. We go to MOPS, music class, swimming, the gym, the grocery store, the bus stop, soccer, meetings, and other kid-friendly places. 

It's a good life, but "stay-at-home-mom" is a misnomer. Except Mondays. Well, we go to swimming, but that's later in the morning so it doesn't feel like such a rush.

My profession right now is a stay-at-home-mom. A chicken-with-its-head-cut-off-mom, maybe. (Cluck.) But it's my season and it's a good one.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 9-13

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

9-13 What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil - this is the gift of God.

Thank you, God.

Stuck.

Back when we were adopting, I used to blog all the time. It was a good opportunity for me to process my feelings about adoption and include others in the exciting process. Then Little Brother happened. Suddenly I had one foot in the infertility and adoption world and one foot in the pregnant and parenting world. I stopped blogging.

Granted, the time I had to write significantly decreased when evenings went from beginning at dinner time and ending at 10:00 to beginning at 9:00 after the kids are all in bed and we have actually eaten dinner too. But also, I was afraid.

I was afraid that I would suddenly appear to have forgotten how it felt to experience infertility. I was afraid that my new experiences would hurt others. I started a new parenting blog but didn't keep that up because of the aforementioned time constraints. And then life just felt too busy. I know everyone is busy and many people more so than I. But it is what it is and that's my excuse.

I recently read a book by Kathi Lipp called The me project: 21 days to living the life you've always wanted. I've read the book but haven't put the daily projects into place. The gist of the book is that we are uniquely created by God for a purpose. Figuring out what that is takes our cooperation. Kathi sets out 21 projects to move toward doing so including journaling, finding a mentor, and spending time in prayer with God about His plan and purpose for my life.

Some of the things I have thought I want to do, outside of parenting,  include writing, speaking, encouraging, music making, and improving my amateur photography. I think that's possibly too many to take on all at once for my first project.

I'm not sure where The Me Project will take me, but there is one thing I have already discovered that is pretty cool. I think I am already living the life God designed for me. I don't do it perfectly, I could do it better in some areas if I were more x, y, or z, and it's not a perfect life. No one's is. But when I think about the ways I spend my time, excepting the time I sometimes spend mindlessly, I get a little buzz. I think that's the Holy Spirit saying, "Keep doing what you're doing."

This is the life.

Best Day Ever

(Oh look - it hasn't been a year since my last post. I'm on a roll.)

It's all fun and games until the putting green that promises a free drink to whoever gets a hole in one.

These guys had been cooped up a little too tightly over spring break and I wanted to have a fun day with them. So on a whim, Friday afternoon I thought, "Mini golf!" The lines were long, it being spring break and all, but that was okay. The weather was great, not too hot but warm enough for our various clothing choices. (They can dress themselves - isn't that something?)

Not to leave any insignificant thing undone, we decided to play the whole 18 holes even though things started to deteriorate around hole ten. The last eight holes were spent frowning and pouting each time the ball missed the elusive hole, alternating with the repeated question, "Please can I get a drink?" (And I must say that, as always, I had no money and was going to need to borrow it from our friend Doris.)

By the time we got to the end of the course and the boys were really spun up about not getting a sugary putt-putt golf soda, I decided we need a photo of our fun ten holes (and lousy eight holes) of golf time at Embassy Golf.

"Smile everyone," she said hopefully.

I could have cajoled and pushed to get some fake smiles, but then I decided just to have our friend take an authentic picture of how it all really went down. Their frowns and pouting are real and mine is a put-on, but I think this photo is an honest look at what family fun looks like sometimes.

I am having more fun reminiscing about this photo and honestly giggling about the boys' looks than I would have with a fake smiley photo. Real life.

"Blessed are they, that can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused."  -Ritu Ghatourey

Texas Peach!

First Texas peach of the year.

I clearly remember my first bite of fresh, farmer's market Texas peaches. It was in Luling, Texas after a rousing music therapy session at Warm Springs Rehabilitation Hospital. I was on my way to Brown-Karhan Healthcare in Dripping Springs, Texas and I stopped for a peach.

She gave me my first one free and as I took my first bite I was transported to my California childhood by the pool. I think I heard angels singing and I could feel my eyes roll back in my head. It tasted like summer and sunshine and I was hooked. I began my quest for the Perfect Peach.

Grocery store peaches don't compare one lick to a fresh ol' farm peach. They don't look perfect, this one has a little goop you can see in the photo, but we just cut that part away and had our first peach experience of the summer.

This batch is from Floresville, Texas. Dora at the Farmer's Market at St. Andrew's Lutheran Church in San Antonio explained that as the summer creeps forward the peaches creep northward up Central Texas. I bought this batch confidently and then assuredly as a gentleman came by to purchase a basket because he was about to run out at home. "They're bigger than last week," he said, and it seemed like a good idea to me to follow the peach up Texas this summer.

Not peach nirvana like my first experience, I'm certain that nothing will ever give me that level of bliss again, but pretty darn good for May peaches. I've eaten two and Jenna is also a fan. Go on by and try for yourself. St. Andrew's Lutheran Church is located at 16320 Huebner Road., San Antonio, Texas. The Farmer's Market is on Mondays from 9-1 all summer long.

Where in Texas will we experience the next peaches? Stay tuned!

32 weeks!

It's going! I am 32 weeks pregnant tomorrow - can't believe it! I had forgotten how long pregnancy lasts.

People ask me, "Are you about ready for this to be over?" My answer is mostly no and a little bit yes. My sacroiliac joint on the left side is causing me a lot of grief. I've tried yoga and it makes it worse, sadly. I know yoga can be really good for Mom and Baby, but it's apparently not good for me in my current residence - Relaxin City, Texas. So the pain is no good. I'm ready for that to be over.  

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This Scripture has to do with contentment and I'm working on it - being content even though I'm hurting and struggling some.

On the other hand, there are many, many more things about pregnancy that I truly love and will miss in eight weeks or less. First, babies are easier for me inside. I get to sleep all night, am sleep-refreshed, and have some free time during the day when the boys are in preschool. Second, I love looking pregnant. I feel better about my body when I'm pregnant. I don't think I have a poor body image, but my tummy is my trouble spot and now it's supposed to look this way! Love that.

Lastly, it's a really special time for me and this baby to be just us sometimes, and it is amazing how sweet the boys are to me and to their baby sister. They help me up when I'm sitting down and they need me, they snuggle my belly and make sweet noises and faces to their baby sis, and her biggest brother is absolutely gleeful about feeling her move.

And move she does. Yikes! I don't remember LB being this movey. She waves her hands around (they are in my lower belly), sticks her butt out (on the right and even with my bellybutton), bends her knees (bellybutton), and kicks me out to the right side like her big brother used to. Late in the day when I sit down she must stretch out because she's practically up in my sternum. Sometimes she wiggles around, getting comfortable I guess, and it feels like a tempest brewing in there. BB puts his hand on my belly and every time he feels a movement says, "Was that you? Was that you?" He can always feel her. They're tight, those two. This afternoon he sang her his ABCs. I will miss that.

People also ask if we're ready. Do they not know who they are dealing with? Me! I'm the worst procrastinator. We have a room. It's newly painted lavender. No crib, no sheets, no monitor, no dresser, no changing pad, no nothing. We do have plenty of baby washcloths and some cloth diapers for burping. We also have a PacknPlay we'll set up in our room for awhile. I guess we ought to make sure we still have all the parts! So no, we're not ready.

So am I about ready for this pregnancy to be over? It doesn't look like it! Even though this is now my second pregnancy, after years of trying to get pregnant it still feels like such a novelty - something I thought I'd never experience once let alone two times. As I sit here and type, looking down over my sweet baby inside, I can't believe it's really happening again. A huge blessing.

To my sweet friends still waiting, I love you dearly! And as I was saying to someone recently, this stage of pregnancy and newborn is just the tip of the parenting iceberg. There is so much more to parenting than being pregnant! As time has passed and the boys are older, I feel more and more like a parent. At first when they were small I felt like I wasn't a parent if they weren't babies. Isn't that something? I had never really thought about parenting past the newborn stage. And it turns out, um, I don't really covet the newborn stage. Sleep and babysitters are not overrated.

He is Risen!

He is risen, indeed.

Mommy Spring Break!

I'll be taking a staycation this week in my own home. I'm so excited!

Step one: making my bedroom oasis look nice. We have a nice, large bedroom with a little corner just for me. I'm sitting there right now on my couch with my feet up on an ottoman. Nice. But the room is a mess and doesn't feel very oasissy! I'll put in a new Scentsy fragrance, tidy up some messy spots, vacuum, and have a mini spa bedroom. Ahhhh...

Step two: eat lots of berries. I have a huge container of raspberries and a container of strawberries that I plan to indulge in daily. Perhaps I'll have raspberry waffles one morning for breakfast and a strawberry yogurt parfait one afternoon (or four).

Step three: get some errands run and maybe even shop for Baby Girl Standridge!

Step four: get my knitting on!

Step five: nap, nap, nap - got to catch up on some zzzzzz's.

So if you need me, I'll have my feet up so give me a few minutes to get to the door or the phone.

Oh hey, I forgot step .5. Drop the boys off at kid's gym camp every day!

Spring break is here!

A Moment

You know those moments when you fall in love with someone all over again again? I had one of those moments with BB today.

We were doing some youtubing, my two boys and I, the three of us snuggled up on the bed looking up mewing kittens and screaming chameleons and the like. I got the idea to look up baby girls.

I found a youtube video with a tear-inspiring song in the background while still shots appeared of a baby girl on her first day in the world. One part showed the baby girl in the arms of her grandfather. The baby, the music, and finally the grandfather got me emotional and I started to cry.

LB is not a fan of tears. He said to me, "Please stop crying, Mommy, can you please not cry?"

But BB, he is an empathetic and supportive little boy. He looked at me so tenderly, so sweetly, and traced the back of his fingers down my face. He just sat there with me as I talked about why I had tears. Then he got a big grin, took my face in his hands, and kissed my tears. I do this to him sometimes to make him laugh - eat his salty tears. And that is exactly what he did to me. It worked. I laughed. And I fell in love again.

This kid is a spark plug. I find myself correcting him dozens of times a day. He gets into any sugar he can find (because he's so sweet, I guess), he drops trash and other items on the floor the minute he finishes with them, and he plays too rough. And he's the sweetest, most sensitive, empathetic boy inside. He's sugar and spice. That kid is really something.

The no good, terrible, very good day.

Today started for me at 4:57 a.m. A little boy, who shall remain nameless, is suddenly a morning pooper. Yay. So today the big event happened super early. Randy has been getting in to work at 6 a.m. all week, so he got up, this boy got in our bed with me, and we finally fell asleep again at 5:40. Brother came in at 6:30 to start the day.

I told them to go play while I slept a little longer, so at 8 a.m. I came downstairs to a table covered in chocolate Lucky Charms minus all the mushrooms. Oh yes, I do mean marshmallows - it's been a long day. Also covering the table and floors were Starburst wrappers and jelly beans. BB had made breakfast! I found two little boys sitting on the back steps discovering dead bugs to pick up, and pretending to plant "magic beans." So cute. Messy, but sweet. Literally.



We met a seller from Craigslist this afternoon to buy a stroller for Baby Girl. We decided to try a new park on the way, but when we got there I thought it looked a little scary. So we left for another new park, which was equally dilapidated and did not include a playground. Basically it was grass and a worn-down pavilion. BUT, there was a ravine with a little bit of water in it into which the boys immensely enjoyed throwing rocks. We were there for five minutes before we had to go. Park problem solved.

Upon getting to the meeting place, I spoke with the seller who was late, so the boys and I went to Wendy's for a Frosty and yes, I admit it, an order of french fries which, to my credit, we split three ways. And it was good.

Off to the gym we went to burn off those calories! I had planned to get to the gym at two and we were there closer to four. I sat for awhile, swam for awhile, changed for a while, stretched, and made it home just in time for dinner at six. The boys' dinner was ready and on the table due to our late arrival. Yes!

Today was a comedy of errors at best. But a lovely day. Lemons, lemonade. A breakfast mess turned into magic beans, a park problem turned into rock-throwing fun, and a late trip to the gym turned into Mommy not having to make dinner for hungry boys. The boys were (mostly) in a good mood, they loved having an excuse to throw rocks, and they always love the "kids gym." I had a relaxing work out and just enjoyed a bowl full of leftover-taco soup after a quick jaunt to the corner store for some pinto beans.

AND I have a coffee date in the morning, AND a date with my husband in the evening. And now I say yes to Yes to the Dress. It is a good day. Ciao.

I just flew in from Ames, Iowa...

...and boy are my arms (and everything else) tired.

But seriously folks, I'm exhausted! It's 7:00 and I feel like could just go to bed, but I have a few things to do and I saved enough calories today to have a bowl of cereal and berries for dessert. This requires me to arise and go downstairs to the kitchen, and so arise and go I shall.



Tomorrow I will be 24 weeks pregnant, and I do NOT remember being so tired last time. Granted I am almost 5 years older and my kids don't nap and need to be entertained and taken places pretty much every day, plus I feel responsibility to do some laundry and prepare meals for my family of four once in awhile. (While pg with LB I only had two solid-food-eating people in our family.)

Wednesday is coming up and it is my loooong day, starting with BSF at 9am and going through children's choir (one more week!) and my choir rehearsal ending at 9pm. Perhaps I can catch a quick nap at Chick Fil A at lunch with my friend who I'll call Delores because half the time I forget her name and call her that anyway. Wednesday is the day that I try not to feel too guilty when we have Chick Fil A for lunch and Dominos Pizza for dinner! (Did I mention that my midwife suggested that I gained a couple extra pounds last month?)

So what's happening with me? Well finally this week people I don't know have asked me when the baby is due. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, "Huh? Oh, right!" Also, my lower back/sacral muscles hurt about 60 percent of the time despite my wearing a maternity belt when I can. I've been back to the chiropractor which seems to give me some relief but not as much as I'd like.

I'm exercising when I can, swimming two times a week and doing pilates and prenatal yoga, and I pretty much don't have any cravings besides the craving to rest and the craving to eat out anywhere that includes me sitting down and not preparing anything. I do hanker for hot wings regularly, but so far have indulged that only once. Girl Scout cookies are irresistible, or were irresistible until I stepped on the scale yesterday, and I'm into fresh fruit which is probably a better bet for me anyway. Oh well, I felt much better after reading what Jessica Simpson is eating during pregnancy!

Most importantly, Baby Girl is a super active little thing and the boys are very excited for their baby sister to come out. She kicks and punches pretty strongly, and I had my first experience on Sunday with a very obvious repetitive bladder punches. Mmmm, fun. She is more active at 10:30 am and 6:30 pm, and occasionally whoops it up first thing in the morning or right at bedtime. This does not keep me from sleeping yet, however, and I can make it from 9:30 until 6:30 without getting up to use any facilities. TMI!

I went off the sauce recently (Facebook), and plan to blog more, but lying down and vegging out is pretty much taking priority over everything right now, including BSF which is what I need to be doing tonight but might not. I'd rather just have my cereal and be done with it. Lesson, complete thyself.

Now what do I do?

It's a girl!

I don't know nothin' 'bout raisin' no girls! OK I am one, so I know a little bit about it, but ribbons and bows and ponytails will all be new to me. Dollies and barbies and make-up to follow. Boys calling up, teenage drama, paying for a wedding, all this and more!

I have always wanted a daughter. I love my mom so much and we have great times talking, and shopping for one hour before quitting that nonsense, and sending mushy cards. I adored my Grandma and so looked forward to hearing her say, "Well look who's here!" whenever we came to visit. She took me to have my "colors done" and always enjoyed my fashion sense when I actually had one.

And oh, being a Daddy's girl and having him call me "Amy girl," and watching him come to my dance recitals as well as my swim meets which were certainly more "interesting" for him. I'm sad that our little girl won't have her Papa Bruce here on earth to wrap around her finger. I'm certain he would happily attend some more ballet recitals.

Yet believe it or not, and I'm a little surprised, I'm sad that my baby boy days are over! I feel a niggling sense of loss that I won't have another baby boy to love his mama to pieces. LB was so mad last night when we told him the baby was a girl and not a boy. He won't get to have a baby brother to show the ropes. But can you imagine how sweet they will be with a baby sister? They'll be going off to college when she is in middle school and I can just picture their homecomings and giving their baby sister major teasing and big love.

So we're dreaming a little bit now. I don't know how to have a baby girl, but I know we'll learn. There are so many boys in our lives and our neighborhood I have a feeling this little pink bundle is going to get a lot of love and attention.

Now if I can just win over her big brother LB who would rather eat his pizza then talk about a little sister...